Back to blogging

Well it’s been a really long time since I last blogged, but I don’t have good news.

This week has been quite a hell week for me. Work is making me feel super stressed out, possibly because of it’s fast pace and a particular colleague that makes me dread work. Wanted to leave this week, but my manager requested for me to stay till the end of this month, as they are currently shorthanded. I felt bad to reject her, so I agreed. Kind of regretting it now. I really love the work at the clinic, my other colleagues, and the bosses are nice to me. Somehow, I just feel like I cannot put up with the working culture here. Don’t get me wrong, I love everyone, but I would prefer it if we were friends, and not colleagues. Felt like I let down so many people by quitting; but I guess for once, I want to be selfish and make myself happy. After all, it is the holiday and I should be doing things that make me happy 🙂

Was rejected by my dream course from NUS today. Definitely was devastated and it just feels like all the colour in my life disappeared. Lived today in a black and white world. I know that I should be grateful that I got offered pharmacy, which may have been a dream to many others; and be grateful that I at least got a chance to try out the med interview, but the feeling of not getting what you want to do in life is… I’m sure some will have had this experience before.

offer for NUS

Wouldn’t it be nice if “Medicine” came after “Home Course:”? I don’t mind pharmacy, as it is still healthcare-related, but it is just different from all the excitement I have always dreamt of. I guess life is indeed unfair, where people without true interests, coming from prestigious schools, or having connections easily get their offer. I learnt this the hard way.

Still, I’m eternally grateful to my family, friends, colleagues and my boss for supporting me endlessly throughout this entire period. You guys always believed in me, sometimes even more than myself, and saying that I can do it, that I deserved it. I’m sorry that I didn’t live up to your expectations, but I’m thankful that you guys still love me despite it. 🙂 I apologize if I was unwilling to share with you guys early about this rejection, but I just need some time to get over it. Yes, I know that there is still NTU medicine, but I wouldn’t count on it as I have learnt to not get my hopes up too high for anything.

For those who have gotten your desired course at whichever uni, congratulations and I’m truly, truly happy for you guys. You guys were meant for your dream course.

I guess I just wasn’t.

Signing off here,

Kai

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