Random short post, this saying suddenly popped out in my head yesterday unknowingly.
“You never know what you have until it is gone.”
A common reply would be, “You always knew what you have, you just didn’t know it would be gone.”
But honestly, how many of us truly see what we have? These few days, I have been thinking about how I am gonna leave CCA soon. Next week is year 6 farewell, and we are stepping down. Surprisingly, I only have started to become closer to my cca mates these few days. I think syf brings people close together, the whole shared experience thingy and all, but I kinda regret not going out of my way to talk to my juniors (especially those im not so close with) and find out about them more. I think after I step down, I will really miss CCA alot T_T I mean, our daily life is so filled with academics, and on the days we have CCA are the days we truly relax and get immersed in the music, forgetting about our tutorials and all the academic stress for awhile. Yes, sometimes CCA can even be an excuse for us not to do tutorials! We will just go, “I had CCA yesterday… so I was really tired and I didnt touch anything.” However, I only realised the value of CCA after syf is over. How I will miss going to the CO room every Tuesday and Wednesday, how I will miss being immersed in the beautiful chinese music, and of course, how I will miss seeing and catching up with my friends. I asked George if he minded that the seniors came back and roll around in the CO room, and he said that he would greatly love it if the seniors came back to support them. Aww, so touched. I guess despite all the little mistakes we have made, our juniors still respect and love us alot. I am so grateful.
I think at some point in time, all of us are guilty of complaining about having CCA to our friends, and always wondering when CCA will end, etc. At the end of the day, today, we realise that we don’t actually want to step down at all. On the other hand, I feel that this brings out the beauty of life. Not knowing what we have until it is gone is actual innate in the human nature, and it makes us appreciate the things that we didn’t appreciate before. When we say that, oh next time Im so gonna appreciate whatever thing comes my way because I know that it’s gonna be gone soon; how true is that? Many of us will just repeat the cycle of taking the things around us for granted, and then feeling regretful at the end again for not appreciating things enough. But that’s exactly the beauty of it. Imagine always knowing what you have, and having no regrets, wouldn’t that just be so boring?It is what makes us human, what makes us feel so much, and it is precisely this strong regret and nostalgic feelings we have that makes us feel the intense emotions, love deeply each time and retain beautiful memories that we look upon to remember and smile. So, just live your life as it is. Let the thinking and emotions flow naturally. Take things for granted, live in the moment, and cry over what is gone at the end of the day. Because that’s what life is ultimately about. Loving and losing.
Kai Lin 🙂