On altruism and something more

Hmm so I have no idea what I truly want to blog about in this post but I know that I have to write something down before I explode.

So last night I had a conversation with Phibbs, and I was telling her how I doubted my true intentions in organizing a VIA of my own. I told her that I was a really bad person, with so many bad thoughts. She told me that people always have ulterior motives for doing things, just like how she became a VIA representative so that she can help her sister in her project. Well, that didn’t sound that bad to me, but anyways, it still made me think about this issue of altruism. Can someone truly be altruistic? When Phibbs told me that if I continued my VIA project after A levels, meaning that I’m not concerned with my sgc, then it would show that I really care about the community. But I told her, isn’t that trying to prove myself to others? So in one way or another, people do things just for the sake of themselves. We are all selfish. We want to help others to make ourselves happy, to boost our self-esteem, to make us become better people. It is always for ourselves. Us. Us. Us. In the end.

I am so afraid of my own feelings nowadays. Sometimes I find it harder and harder to bring myself back to the light. It feels like the changing fast-paced modern world have engulfed me and plunged me into darkness, a point of no return. I don’t know if I will be able to survive this year without losing myself. On the other hand, I know that these are emotions that human beings will feel. As long as I come in terms with my own feelings, knowing why I feel that way, I can then learn how to deal with it when it pops out of nowhere and accept it. I guess that is when we become truly happy despite all the unhappiness.

On a side note… read this if you are feeling bored. I found it quite meaningful and it’s a good read. Something to think about in your daydreams. 

“The Truth About Meeting Someone At The Wrong Time” by Heidi Priebe

Timing is something that none of us can seem to get quite right with relationships. We meet the person of our dreams the month before they leave to go study abroad. We form an incredibly close friendship with an attractive person who is already taken. One relationship ends because our partner isn’t ready to get serious and another ends because they’re getting serious too soon.

“It would be perfect,” We moan to our friends, “If only this were five years from now/eight years sooner/some indistinct time in the future where all our problems would take care of themselves.” Timing seems to be the invariable third party in all of our relationships. And yet we never stop to consider why we let timing play such a drastic role in our lives.

Timing is a bitch, yes. But it’s only a bitch if we let it be. Here’s a simple truth that I think we all need to face up to: the people we meet at the wrong time are actually just the wrong people.

You never meet the right people at the wrong time because the right people are timeless. The right people make you want to throw away the plans you originally had for one and follow them into the hazy, unknown future without a glance backwards. The right people don’t make you hmm and haw about whether or not you want to be with them; you just know. You know that any adventure you had originally planned out for your future isn’t going to be half as incredible as the adventures you could have by their side. That no matter what you thought you wanted before, this is better. Everything is better since they came along.

When you are with the right person, time falls away. You don’t worry about fitting them into your complicated schedule, because they become a part of that schedule. They become the backbone of it. Your happiness becomes your priority and so long as they are contributing to it, you can work around the rest.

The right people don’t stand in the way of the things you once wanted and make you choose them over them. The right people encourage you: To try harder, dream bigger, do better. They bring out the most incredible parts of yourself and make you want to fight harder than ever before. The right people don’t impose limits on your time or your dreams or your abilities. They want to tackle those mountains with you, and they don’t care how much time it takes. With the right person, you have all of the time in the world.

The truth is, when we pass someone up because the timing is wrong, what we are really saying is that we don’t care to spend our time on that person. There will never be a magical time when everything falls into place and fixes all our broken relationships. But there may someday be a person who makes the issue of timing irrelevant.

Because when someone is right for us, we make the time to let them into our lives. And that kind of timing is always right.

Kai Lin 🙂

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One comment

  1. A Journey With You · March 30, 2015

    I believe it is always good to give of yourself. If you get something out of it in return, that is wonderful. I don’t think that means you are selfish. I love to be around givers, they are my favorite kind of people 🙂

    Like

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